Sketchy ass giant astronaut yo. #coachella

Sketchy ass giant astronaut yo. #coachella

#fierce #onlyforatemptattoo

#fierce #onlyforatemptattoo

How Mario could face these things is beyond me.

How Mario could face these things is beyond me.

Coachella! こんにちは!!!

Coachella! こんにちは!!!

#nerdswag

#nerdswag

Gene is my spirit animal. 

(via gif-h0tspot)

I am literally waiting for this moment to happen in my life. 

(via theberbacollintinental)

My 20 Different Types of Poops

Today’s list will consist of my personal list of different types of poop.

1. The Lincoln Logger - long pieces, like Lincoln Logs

2. The Vein Popper - the one where you are straining so much the veins on your forehead are sticking out

3. The Neverending Poop - the one where you wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and wipe but there is still always poop on the paper. It’s like trying to wipe a marker

4. The Ring of Fire - pretty self explanatory. Usually a product of indian or Mexican food.

5. The Rocket Ship - when you have to hold on to the toilet bowl because you feel like you’re going to lift off

6. The Standing Ovation - when you are done pooping and you feel like you can’t sit down for a good 20-30 minutes after

7. The One Hit Wonder - You sit down, one push, you are done

8. The Shotgun - You sit down, one push, BOOOM, you are done

9. The Invisible Poop - you feel you pooped, you heard poop fall into the water, you wipe and there is poop on the paper, but you look into the bowl….AND THERE IS NOTHING THERE

10. The Encore - You poop, you finish, you wash your hands, you are one step out the bathroom door, and then you realize you have to go back for part 2

11. The Lion - the one that is particularly loud, making it’s presence known (usually in public bathrooms)

12. The Feint - you feel like you need to, you sit down, open the magazine, and it’s like “lol jk nevermind”

13. The Mystery - when there is corn and you don’t remember having eaten corn recently

14. The Sideways Poop - it literally feels like it’s coming out sideways.

15. The Titanic - the poop so big you have to break in two before you can flush it down

16. The Olympic Diver - doesn’t make a sound when it enters the water

17. The Backsplash - makes a big splash when it enters. you’re gonna need extra paper

18. The Slushie - has the consistency of such

19. The Iceberg - it floats, but it’s mostly underwater

20. The Groundhog - the poop that sticks it’s head out for a bit and then decides to go back in

It was at times a long, difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. See kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew. I have to love this woman as much as I can, for as long as I can, and never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5 am Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon. Through every speed bump, every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was thank God. Thank every god there is, or was, or ever will be, and the whole universe and anyone else I could possibly thank, that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform. And that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.

(via gif-h0tspot)

I’m half as stupid as I seem, and twice as intelligent as I come off.
Kicking it old school in grad school during class.

Kicking it old school in grad school during class.

Got my pass to the aquarium. LOOK AT ITS ADORABLE FACE!

Got my pass to the aquarium. LOOK AT ITS ADORABLE FACE!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK GOING THROUGH THAT STARGATE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA?
IS THAT WHAT THAT FLASH OF LIGHT WAS?
YES! HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THAT?
TO BE HONEST I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION. I WAS JUST FOLLOWING KEVIN.
ME TOO.
SAME HERE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK GOING THROUGH THAT STARGATE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA?

IS THAT WHAT THAT FLASH OF LIGHT WAS?

YES! HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THAT?

TO BE HONEST I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION. I WAS JUST FOLLOWING KEVIN.

ME TOO.

SAME HERE.

corgiaddict:

Today was his birthday, so I got a bunch of party hats to turn him into a Corgi-Saurus Rex.
The rest of the set can be found here
This made my morning. You all have to live up to this now. 

corgiaddict:

Today was his birthday, so I got a bunch of party hats to turn him into a Corgi-Saurus Rex.

The rest of the set can be found here

This made my morning. You all have to live up to this now.